


if you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do

by serenitysea



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Banter, F/M, Fun, Humor, Teenage AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 17:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6916969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenitysea/pseuds/serenitysea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka: the au where teenage skyeward kind of hate each other’s guts while thomas and kara try to play matchmaker.</p><p>*</p><p>“I told him he was the biggest jockstrap I’d ever met how was I supposed to know <i>that was going to turn him on</i>?”</p><p>“So leave him hot and bothered, I don’t care. But you’re doing this.”</p><p>“You’re lucky I owe you one, sis... Get your shit together. If you’re ever caught naked with Thomas Ward in the boys locker room again, I’ll take pictures and hand them over to Dad myself.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jayhalstead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayhalstead/gifts).



> THIS IS ALL NIKKI'S FAULT IT IS LITERALLY ALL HER FAULT AND WHEN SKYE IS YELLING AT KARA IN THE BEGINNING IT'S REALLY ME YELLING AT HER FOR MAKING ME DO THIS I HATE HER OKAY????

“This is the worst idea you’ve ever had and I hate you.”

Kara glances sternly at her, tugging slightly at the collar on Skye’s ripped denim jacket. “First of all, you look hot as hell. Second, Grant Ward has had eyes on you since we moved here six weeks ago.”

Skye grimaces, jerking free from Kara’s handiwork. “I told him he was the biggest jockstrap I’d ever met _how was I supposed to know that was going to turn him on_?”

“That family kind of defies the odds,” the other brunette murmurs quietly, then offers a razor sharp smile. “So leave him hot and bothered, I don’t care. But you’re doing this.”

“You’re lucky I owe you one, _sis_.” Skye kicks aside her beloved converse in favor of a pair of black ankle booties with heels that promise a swift demise. She zips them up and smooths her hands on the black ripped skinny jeans that Kara had selected as part of tonight’s ensemble. “Get your shit together. If you’re ever caught naked with Thomas Ward in the boys locker room again, I’ll take pictures and hand them over to Dad myself.”

Kara can only gape at her sister as she flounces out the door.

*

Grant hasn’t had much experience with girls who don’t immediately fawn all over him – so Skye has been a… _refreshing_ change of pace, to say the least.

He had genuinely wanted to get to know her better but there was his reputation to be upheld and since she wasn’t exactly allowing him to speak with her at _any_ given opportunity, he’d had to resort to more… _creative_ measures. 

“ _Thomas_.”

There is a pained groan and then Thomas actually _rolls_ into view on the floor with a hand covering his eyes. “You bellowed?”

Grant smooths down the line of his tie (was it overkill?), preening slightly. “I know I make this look good, but tell me honestly.” He turns to the side, finger combing his hair into place. “Does this shirt bring out the olive tones in my skin, or –?”

The younger man rolls his eyes. “Skye is going to _tear you apart_.”

And Grant Douglas Ward, actual big man on campus with enough arrogance to power a small _city_ , smirks. “I certainly hope so.”

*

The restaurant is packed.

Skye has been fidgeting with the hem of her asymmetrical tee for what seems like eternity. She has the sinking suspicion Grant has _stood her up_ , which means she’s about to call Kara back and _flay her alive_ and –

“Miss?” The hostess is standing there with the practiced expression of someone who had been trying to get her attention for some time. “If you’ll just follow me?”

“How do you know who I am?” Skye asks in disbelief.

“Your dining partner told us to look for a young woman,” she pauses, trying to phrase the next words as delicately as possible, “who looked mad enough to spit nails.”

Skye closes her eyes momentarily. “Of _course_ he did.”

She’s guided around the corner to a private room where Grant is waiting for her with a smarmy grin. When he gets up as if to help her into the chair, she levels him with a glare so fierce that it’s a wonder he doesn’t just dissolve on the spot.

The hostess scurries away, no doubt eager to get clear of the crossfire.

“You look nice.”

“You look like my fist in your million dollar smile would be an _improvement_ ,” Skye responds sweetly, picking up the menu to hide her face from view. After about thirty seconds of scanning the selections, she lays it flat on the table and shoots a look at the corner, where the waiter has been oddly reluctant to move. “ _Thomas_.” She growls, flicking a hard look at Grant, who raises his hands in surrender.

“Hey, don’t look at me.”

Thomas goes completely still, then turns around with a sheepish grin. “Hey _guys_ , fancy meeting you here.”

“Is this your idea of a _joke_?” Skye’s tone could melt steel.

Grant appears remarkably unruffled. “Would you prefer to dine elsewhere this evening?”

She sniffs in disdain and leaves in a huff.

“You’re doing _great_!” Thomas shouts as Grant hurries after her.

*

Five minutes later, Kara gets a phone call.

“I lost them.”

She drags a hand down her face. “You had one job, Thomas. _One job_.”

“Hey! They peeled out in a hurry – guess my brother thinks he’s the next Mario Andretti, what do you want me to say?”

Kara contemplates for a moment. “Mario Andretti?”

“That turn out of the parking lot was a thing of beauty,” Thomas recalls wistfully.

She jumps out of bed, taking the stairs two at a time. “Pick me up.”

“…Kara?”

“C’mon. Your brother doesn’t drive like that… but my _sister_ does. And I know exactly where they’re headed.”

“…Okay, but you _do_ realise I’m a good twenty minutes away, right?”

“Less talking, more speeding,” Kara commands, jogging out the front door and onto the sidewalk. “I’ll meet you at the pet store.”

 _“That’s two miles away from your house_?!”

Kara hangs up and takes off in a dead sprint.

*

“Two of the biggest burgers you’ve got and –”

“– Make mine a turkey burger,” Skye interjects in a bored tone, flicking through her Instagram feed.

“One of those should be a _turkey_ burger,” Grant obediently corrects, “Two large fries, a side of onion rings, a vanilla malted and a root beer float.”

“Dibs on the malted.” She says, tossing her phone into the cupholder, and making grabby hands for the sack containing their greasy feast.

“Duh,” he scoffs. “It’s like you think I don’t know you or something.”

She rolls her head just far enough to _look_ at him. “You don’t.”

“All I’m saying is that I don’t take just _anyone_ to my favorite burger joint and _MMMPF_.”

Hands now free of the burger she’d just stuffed in his open mouth, Skye smiles at him rather serenely. “You were saying?”

He chews for several beats and then swallows carefully, eyes tracking movement over her right shoulder.

Skye, who has since tucked into her fries with abandon, is somewhat unprepared for the way she almost falls out of the window she’d been leaning against as it rolls down. The look in her eyes promises _death_ but Grant just winks and laughs.

“Hey Kara,” he casually greets, tipping his carton of fries backward out of his own window.

There is a hesitation and then a firm hand reaches in and sweeps out all of the fries. Grant sighs and tosses the empty container into the bag, contenting himself with the onion rings.

“ _Thomas_!” Kara hisses, ducking out of view but her partner in crime is too busy chewing all of the fries to answer. She growls at him and then dips her head back into the car, gaze flitting between Skye and Grant. “So how’s it _going_?”

“Peachy.” Skye then takes a huge bite of her burger and begins chewing _very slowly_ to ensure that Grant will have to carry the conversation.

“It’s great.” Grant nods, turning a wide eyed plea to his brother to get the scene cleared away.

“Well,” Thomas clears his throat firmly, coming around the front of the car to sling a firm arm around Kara’s shoulders. “We’ll just leave you to your date, then.”

Skye honest to god _cringes_. “Can we _not_.”

“Jesus.” Kara can’t even mask the mix of horror and mortification on her face as Thomas drags her away from view.

“So,” Grant says brightly, recapturing her attention. “Should we go to the scenic overlook?”

“I will literally put my spike heel through all of the anatomy that you hold dear,” she promises, deadly serious.

He frowns, putting the car in gear. “ _Right_.”

*

“I think we should just leave them alone.”

“ _Clearly_ they need our help,” Kara sighs in exasperation, “More than they’re willing to admit.”

“She threatened the _crown jewels_ , woman! I might not be an uncle someday if it were up to her.” Thomas sounds genuinely distraught at this possibility.

“Guess you’ll need to pop out some sprogs of your own,” she flippantly responds, mind already whirring with plans to get their stubborn siblings together. 

“Are you offering?” He silkily inquires, sidling up behind her.

Kara drives her elbow into his stomach, smiling with satisfaction as he yelps in pain.

“I didn’t let you get us caught in a compromising position in the boys’ locker room for _nothing_! This has to work!”

“Okay,” Thomas doubtfully agrees. “But when it goes south and we end up in jail, don’t blame me.”

“Oh my _gosh_ , you are so dramatic. We’re _not_ going to end up in jail.”

 

(…they totally ended up in jail.)

*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Do you think we should tell them the truth?” Skye asks from where she is leaned comfortably within the bracket of Grant’s arms.

“And take away the joy you get from verbally eviscerating me on a daily basis?” He scoffs. “I would _never_.”

“You’re such a good sport,” she affectionately murmurs, leaning up to kiss him.

“You know what _else_ I’m good at…” He trails off suggestively.

Skye dissolves into peals of laughter, effectively shattering the moment. “Not being smooth, that’s for damn sure.”

Grant waits until she is sufficiently distracted when he trails a hand up her leg, inching it beneath her shirt slowly.

“ _Oh_?” Skye challenges, eyes bright with humor.

“Oh.” He solemnly confirms, using the other hand to pull her securely into his lap.

They shift around, rearranging limbs with the kind of ease indicating that this is a well practiced routine – until Skye’s back arches too sharply, triggering the horn.

Grant lets his forehead rest on her clavicle with a huff. “Some of us are _trying_ to work here.” 

“Sorry hot stuff,” Skye whispers, cupping his jaw. “Promise I’ll pay better attention this time.”

“Oh you _will_ once I’m through with you…” He mock threatens, gentling the hand clamped around her waist. “Now, _c’mere_ already.”

“Aye aye captain,” Skye ducks her head, meeting his lips again in a firm kiss. “But just so you know… I’m supposed to be leaving you hot and bothered.”

He offers a strangled laugh as her hands wander with _purpose_. “Trust me. I’m plenty bothered.”

“Mmmm.” Her lips curve beneath his in satisfaction. “Well, if _that’s_ all squared away then…”

“Killing me,” Grant huffs out a gasp, badly fumbling for the lever that will send his seat into a deep recline.

They fall backward with a _whoosh_ that has Skye pillowed on top of him. “ _Smooth_.”

“Told you I had moves.”

**Author's Note:**

> \+ DAMMIT NIKKI I OWE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THE LARA AU  
> \+ [tumblr](http://b-isforbombshell.tumblr.com)


End file.
